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| 34 weeks 2 days |
As most of you know I am a procrastinator! It has been 3 weeks 2 days since the babies have been born and I am just now getting to this. I have been pumping since they have been born so that takes up a lot of my time. I pump every 2-3 hours, when ever I start getting sore, and I pump from 30-45 minutes. That doesn't leave me a lot of time during the day to really get much done. Any way here you go the birth story of my surrogate journey. <3
January 3. 2015 I was spending some time with Tom. He came to the hospital every day from the day he got there until they left. It was the evening and we were watching family feud, which we mostly did I love games shows. It was evening baby monitoring time so they hooked me up. They noticed I had a high heart rate, 127, and a slightly elevated temperature, 99.9. They asked me how I felt and I felt fine, nothing out of the ordinary. They decided to keep an eye out but they weren't alarmed about it really because my blood pressure and every thing else looked fine. They check on me a couple more times in the next couple hours and same thing, small temperature and higher pulse. They told me to report if I felt any different and I didn't just a few braxton hicks and that was all. Tom left around 10pm, they did my normal monitoring shortly after 11pm and I went to sleep. I woke up shortly after midnight with uncomfortable contractions but nothing concerning and they weren't timable.
January 4, 2015 I woke up a few more times through out the night with the same thing. At about 5:30am I finally woke up to slightly painful contractions that were about 10 minutes apart. I decided at 6am to let my nurse know what was going on like I had the last few times I got timable contractions. They hooked me all up my pulse still high and my fever as well. The contractions were showing on the monitor so they kept me on and contacted the on call doctor to see what he wanted to do. At this time the nurse told me it wasn't for sure but I should go ahead and call Tom and my husband to let them know to get to the hospital we were most likely having babies today! The on call doctor showed up and decided it was for sure and asked the nurse to prepare me for the c-section. By this time the contractions were about 5 minutes apart a painful enough for me to not be able to talk through them. Tom, Damon, Anna, & Symone all arrived in 45 minutes. They finished preparing me and we waited until the doctor was done with the other c-section before I got taken in. By this time the contractions were about 3 minutes apart and in all honesty it wasn't near as painful as they were when I had Anna. They wheeled me in the room, did the spinal which also wasn't as terrible as I imagined, put in the cathater, and laid me down. Once I was numb and the curtain was up they let Damon in the room to sit next to my head, he was my support :-) They let Tom in right away and had him stand near where the babies would be.
Laying there I started to feel the movement as they were grabbing baby A (Thomas Sam). Damon stood up and recorded it (video below). I heard the cry but couldn't see at the time there were too many people because the babies were premature. It didn't take long, not even a minute before baby B (Carroll Rose) was out. Damon didn't get her cry on video but she started to cry shortly after he turned it off. I still felt the movement and such that they were doing with me but I was more concerned about how the babies were doing. They told me Carroll was having a little trouble breathing so I wouldn't be able to see her for very long. They brought over Thomas so I could see him and he was as adorable as I imagined he would be. They took him away and then a couple minutes later they brought over Carroll for a shorter time so they could get her to the NICU but of course she was as adorable as her brother. It took them about a half an hour to close me up and I just sat there talking to Damon the whole time. Before I knew it they were done and wheeling me to my recovery room where Symone and Anna were waiting. Video may be graphic. (Thomas Sam born at 10:58am and Carroll Rose born at 10:59am)
I was released 5 days later, they kept me an extra day because I was having a high heart rate and fever again. The first time I visited them was that evening. They were in the complete NICU plastic bassinets. I got to touch them through the hole in the side of the bassinets. It was great but I couldn't wait until I could actually hold them. Tom looked at me and asked me if I would mind if the babies called me "Aunt Kayla". I was over joyed that he would ask me that and I of course said yes! I visited the babies every day until I got released. I pumped milk for them the whole time, and I still do pump and send to them. Once I was released I was only able to visit every other day because I was not allowed to drive yet and Damon's FMLA paper work was not situated so he could only take me every other day.
The last day I saw them was the day before they were scheduled to fly out. Damon drove me up there and it was just Damon, the babies, and myself for an hour. I took my time and held each baby. I cried a little when I held each one. I don't know how to explain why I cried. It wasn't that I was upset with my decision or any thing it was mostly because I was going to miss them. I spent this whole time with them in my belly growing them so of course there was that attachment. I was going to miss them and it feels like a close aunt connection I have with them. I don't, and haven't ever, felt like mom to them because I am not. So I took my time talking to them both. Damon and I had to leave because he had to work but I planned on going back later, and did. I drove, although I wasn't suppose to. I spent about 5 hours with Tom and the babies that evening before Anna and I went home. Tom pulled me aside and we had a very heart felt conversation. I cried as I walked out of that NICU and put Anna into the car. Once I drove out of that parking lot the tears went away. I was going to miss them but it was time for them to start their time as a family. At that moment I knew that this part of my journey was over but the next part of it was just beginning. Now I get to watch them grow. Now I get to see this family finally complete and that feeling is amazing.
I would like to take the time to say that this journey was every thing I hoped it would be. I couldn't imagine being matched with any one but Tom. He went above and beyond doing things to make me comfortable and help me along the way. He is truly an amazing man and I am so very lucky to have been able to help him complete his family. I couldn't be happier that he wants to keep me in their lives as they grow as Aunt Kayla. I can not wait to see what the future holds. Thank you, Tom, for every thing you have done. You truly are an amazing person.
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| 3 weeks old. |
I was asked some question so this is the part where I will be answering them. :-)
Did you have donor eggs?
Yes, the eggs that were used were donor eggs. The surrogacy I did is called a gestational surrogacy where you use some one elses eggs for the embryos. Traditional surrogacy is when your eggs are used with a sperm donor. That isn't really practiced much any more because of the laws and generally just the preference of the surrogate. For me, personally, it would feel as if I was giving up my own child, which I would be. That is some thing that I wouldn't be comfortable doing.
What does your daughter think about it?
As you know Anna is 4 so it is hard to really tell what she thinks about it. Before I started the process I talked to her about it, she was 3 then. I told her that mommy was going to have babies in her belly but the babies weren't going to be ours. I told her we would be giving the babies to some one who couldn't have them by their selves. She seemed okay with the whole thing so that is when I started the paper work. I did want to make sure she was okay with it because she is my number one priority. She met Tom and we told her that he was going to be the babies daddy. She knows we won't get to see the babies all of the time because they live in California and things like that. She hasn't seemed to have any problem with it or understanding it up until this point.
Will you do it again?
I am not sure if I will do it again but it is not for the reason you may think. I would LOVE to do this again. I think the only way I will do it again would be if it was for Tom again or his good friend Eric. When Tom came his friend Eric came with him and I talked to him a lot as well. He has been considering going through this process but is unsure. I got along with him and he really seemed like a genuinely good person. The reason I don't think I will do it for some one else is because I am unsure of the relationship I would have with them both during and after the surrogacy is over. With Tom I know the relationship I have and with Eric I know I will get the same thing but with any one else I don't know. I love the relationship I have now that I wouldn't want any thing less then that. That is the only reason I am not sure I will do this again.
Was it hard for you to hand over the babies?
No, it was not. It wasn't hard to let them go with their dad. I knew long before I started this what this consisted of so I prepared myself before I even started. I knew I was going to be giving the baby (babies) to some one who wouldn't be able to do that with out me. I knew the joy and excitement they were going to have and all the great feelings you get when having your baby. Yes, I do miss them and I do think about them often but I do not and will never regret this. It is an overwhelming feeling of joy when I see them knowing what I helped do. The feeling is unexplainable.
Thank you all for your continued support through this journey. It is great to know how many people support surrogacy. This part of my journey is over but we have started a new one. The babies and Tom are apart of my family forever and I can't put into words how grateful I am for them to be in my life. I will continue to update my blog with baby updates and the possibility of a future journey. <3